Life is full of change, big and small. From a surprise change in dinner plans to adjusting for an afternoon when it rains outside, unexpected situations happen all the time. While many of us can adapt to these moments with little trouble, for some children, especially neurodivergent children who experience more rigidity, navigating change can feel overwhelming.
Flexible thinking is the ability to shift perspectives, adapt to new information, and adjust to unexpected changes. It’s an essential skill that helps children manage daily life, problem-solve, and build resilience. Without it, children may have a more difficult time coping with disappointment, trying new things, or handling social interactions.
So what can you do if your child struggles with flexible thinking?
Flexible thinking is a skill that can be developed over time with practice. Here are some strategies we use at West Hills to help your child learn to navigate change with confidence.
Validate Their Emotions
Change can bring up big emotions, and it’s important to acknowledge your child’s feelings before offering solutions. Even if their frustration seems small to you, it feels big to them.
- Acknowledge their feelings. Say something like, “I see that you’re really disappointed that we couldn’t go to the park today. That must be frustrating.”
- Avoid minimizing their emotions by saying, “It’s not a big deal” or “You’ll be fine.” This can make them feel unheard.
- Help them move forward. Once they do feel understood, they’ll be more open to problem-solving and finding alternative solutions.
By validating their feelings, you are creating a safe space for them to process emotions and begin thinking more flexibly.
Involve Them In Finding Solutions
When plans change, giving your child a role in brainstorming alternative options can help them feel more in control. This also gives them a chance to practice thinking flexibly in real time.
If their favorite restaurant is closed, you might ask, “What’s another place you’d like to try?” If a friend cancels a playdate, you could suggest, “Let’s come up with something fun we can do at home instead.” If a rainy day ruins outdoor plans, try saying, “What are some fun things we can do inside?”
By including them in decision-making, you’re helping them shift their mindset from frustration to problem-solving.
Model Adaptability
Children learn by watching the adults around them. If they see you handling changes with flexibility, they’ll be more likely to do the same.
Narrating your thought process can help them understand how to adapt in real time. For example, you might say, “I was going to wear my favorite shirt today, but it’s in the laundry. Hmm, I guess I’ll pick another one.” Demonstrating problem-solving in real time teaches them that setbacks don’t have to be overwhelming.
When children see you adjusting your expectations and calmly working through challenges, they’ll begin to model that behavior themselves.
Encourage Flexible Thinking Through Play
Games and activities that require children to change strategies or perspectives can be a fun way to build cognitive flexibility. Try incorporating these into their routine:
- Board games: These encourage children to adjust their thinking based on changing circumstances.
- Puzzles and logic games: These challenge kids to see patterns and think in different ways.
- Role-playing games: Acting out different scenarios helps children practice social flexibility.
- Strategic video games: Many games require players to adjust their strategies based on new information.
These activities help make flexible thinking a natural and enjoyable part of their everyday life.
Prepare for Change Ahead of Time
Unexpected changes are inevitable, but preparing your child in advance can make transitions easier. Talking through possible scenarios can help them feel more in control.
The next time you go to the grocery store, try saying, “What if they don’t have your favorite snack at the store? What else would you like?”
Encouraging a “Plan B” habit teaches them to think ahead and consider alternative options. Whenever possible, help your child develop a backup plan so they are better equipped to handle unexpected changes.
We understand the importance of helping neurodivergent students develop essential life skills like cognitive flexibility. If you’re looking for more support or resources, reach out to us today. We’re here to help your child thrive in an ever-changing world.
Resources:
https://www.webmd.com/parenting/how-to-help-kids-think-more-flexibly
https://childmind.org/article/helping-kids-with-flexible-thinking/
https://www.pbs.org/parents/thrive/5-ways-to-help-kids-be-flexible-when-plans-change
